Edinburgh: "the festival city." What is a festival, anyway?

According to a google search it is, "a day or period of time set aside for feasting and celebration."

So, we are supposed to believe that Edinburgh is a city of continuous feasting and celebration. Well, I don't know, I mean, celebration is under control here -- the pubs are all open late, so I'll give them a pass. That's only half of it though. If they want to call this the festival city, then where the hell is my goddamned feast!?

Is it too much to ask for? In a city that considers itself the world's most festive? I mean, this is a town where a bagel can cost eight bucks (American), a fucking bagel. Its not a magical bagel, made with Faberge eggs or something, it is just a regular bagel, with some regular bagel-stuff on it. This is not my feast.

As I've complained about earlier as well, the dining hall isn't so much of a feast either. It would be if they didn't limit the amount of shit food you could eat. Not that I'd really want to feast on an array of stale pizza and greasy fish, but if I COULD, well, then this whole festival bit wouldn't be bothering me so much.

I mean, if a city gives itself a nickname, you've got to stick with it. Chicago calls itself the windy city, and they have a shitload of wind -- acceptable. San Antonio, Texas calls itself "Alamo City" and sure enough, they have a goddamned Alamo right there in San Antonio -- acceptable. Las Vegas is "Sin City" and they give you a damn good chance to break all of those silly commandments every night, and an Elvis impersonator to boot!

However, Edinburgh as "the Festival City" just doesn't work. Sure they have a "festival" or two in the summer, but come on! Chicago is windy year round, and Vegas has prostitutes every day! Edinburgh just can't keep up the pace year round. Is it so much to ask that a city ring true to its nickname?

In closing, I'd like to say: give me my friggin' feast, damnit!

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