Alright, so since Brian's busy for the night, I'm making my debut here on CB.

Alrighty, so tonight's subject, boys and girls, is a little chat on Greek life. Now, you see, Brian and I go to a private college that doesn't officially support/sanction fraternities or sororities. This, however, does not by any means mean that they aren't there. About a good third of the dipshits on campus you see are sporting some kind of Greek script.

The subject of tonight's blurb, though is a common yet complicated problem most college freshman face. It is the question "Which frat/sorority is right for me?" I, like most people, came to college expecting to see the same stereotype depicted in one of the best movies ever Animal House. You know what I mean, the big dumbass half-drunk asshole guys on campus who think they're best goddamn thing on the planet thanks to the Greek characters most likely tattooed on their ass.

And Then there's your average sorority chick. You know, that blonde shit-for-brains that's slept with half the people you know that spends hundreds upon hundreds of daddy's dollars to look exactly like everyone fucking else in her sorority (insert girlish giggle here).

I did learn that this is the case...at least with most of the represented greek societies on campus. The truth is that you gotta learn the ratings in the average areas of a frats/sororities:

1.) (Of course) Parties - How many times a week does the frat/sorority spend getting shit-faced and trying to get laid/getting shit-faced off of 2 light beers and whoring themselves out all night, respectively?

2.) Purpose - Does the society have any real intentions? Anything at all that benefits something or someone other than the beer fund or paying off bartenders to serve freshman girls at the formals?

3.) Socializing - Does the place actually work like a society? Do all the brothers/sisters actually know one another and treat each other...well...not like complete damn strangers?

These are just a few of the factors that need to be taken into account while making the decision. It helps to not be a complete and total prick if you do get in, too, and to make sure that they're just not picking you because you can drink like a fucking horse. It's how I'm getting into the non-asshole frats on campus. Just look for the chill guys that aren't trying to impress you with the amount of time in which they can funnel a beer or float a keg.

Update: While Bill is largely on point, I'd like to note that there is nothing wrong with binge drinking. I'd say that some of my greatest moments occurred while I was binge drinking, but I can't quite remember them well enough to be sure if it was the Stanley Cup that I had was drinking from or the toilet...

-B

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