I'm always late for something, and this time it seems to be a major holiday. Oh well. I was sick this weekend, and I slept through my monday classes for good measure, so now, lets talk about every pretty girl's favorite holiday, and every man's reason why he can't buy that sweet new Hemi Charger just yet.

Valentines Day is a day "for lovers" or at least for the men in loveless marriages to test out their acting skills by professing their love for their gold-digger wives and spending exorbitant amounts of money on flowers and dinner, and on gifts that she'll later pawn to raise money to go to Acapulco with the plumber.

What a romantic holiday.

Its also cold as fuck out, and what is really any more romantic than rock-hard nipples, anyway? Nothing, that's what. Absolutely nothing.

So goes another great American holiday, presented by the good folks at Hallmark™, in association with Godiva™. As for me, well, I had a fever, so I couldn't do much, so I just mailed my girlfriend the old American Express and told her to make me broke -- so all ended up as it should have been.

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