Theres nothing better than following up dinner with a desert that consists of a Taco Bell taco and Quesadilla, and washing it all down with a giant soda and a bag of Teddy Grahams... Not only can you gain 10 pounds in one night, but you can also go ahead and call your doctor about scheduling in that emergency triple-bypass operation...

Overeating is something that is required for the last week of a semester. Its a tradition that cannot be forgotten. I've even heard that some division II schools recruit their linebackers from the ranks of skinny freshman who went overboard during finals. Nonetheless, eating that additional 10,000 calories each day has its purpose -- food is comforting, it relieves stress, and when your other stress relievers start to fail on you (for some reason sex with a hot Freshman girl doesn't work by the end of the year when they get as fat as all the other girls).

Realistically though, what colleges need is a nice, relaxing, strip club right on campus. I don't know about the female students, but the male students would certainly be happier, and then, perhaps they will be in a good enough mood to not slap their girlfriends around in a jealous rage as they normally do, from time to time -- curing the problem for women as well, I'm sure.

See how all problems can be prevented by mexican food? To think we police that border instead of keeping our watchful eye on those damned Canadians...

#|