For me, the semester is almost over, just two more weeks until I find myself unemployed for the summer. What a relief. Even if this isn't the case at every school, the time is soon approaching, and some students are starting to get some strange ideas.

For example, you might think that just because you pay thirty thousand or so per year to attend college, that you ought to get good grades. You might think that you have to turn your semester around. You might think that now is the time to work hard. If you have had any of these thoughts, then you were what we like to refer to as "wrong."

Your wrongness is derived from your mistaken belief that you A) owe anyone good grades, B) that you can really change your academic fate, and C) that working hard has ever solved anything.

Why write a twelve page paper when you can write six? Who cares? You're professor should be happy that you took the time to hand that paper in two weeks late. Why drive yourself nuts when you can better spend that energy having fun. Drinking takes a lot out of you... haven't you noticed that beer makes you sleepy? Don't waste your beer energy on something stupid, like studying.

Come to terms with being a D student. All grades are negotiable, just find a way to either blackmail or seduce any professor who is giving you less than a C, and you'll be on the success superhighway! How else are you going to get into an Ivy League law school? Hard work? Don't be a loser, just slack off, then take pictures of your professor cheating on his wife.

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Happy Sleep-in-and-skip-class Day everyone. When you awake from your comas, why don't you go ahead and click on some of my "extra-good links."

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