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Enemy of the Academic |
Why The Hell Am I in The Library?Posted at 2:31 PM By: Brian [link] Email This Post I feel so out of place in this building, its like being a member of a satanic cult and moseying on into St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York -- you know you can't pull it off, your mere presence would cause the holy water to boil. I looked at one of the book stacks and almost set it on fire.
Its like the forces of academic armageddon or something. Soon there are going to be six professors riding around on horses in their cap and gowns throwing the collective works of Aristotle at students. We'll build a golden keg as an idol on south campus and dance around it naked while burning our books and other academic resources in a massive bonfire. Then, we'll find an engineering student and use him as a human sacrifice... thats what he gets for doing homework on a wednesday night (or a monday/tuesday/thurs/etc.). I mean, what do they think that doing 13 hours of homework a day is really going to accomplish for them anyway? Getting a job? Come on now, College was invented to teach us how to live like bums so that we can be them once we graduate. Who needs a job anyway. I mean, I wouldn't have even picked a major if they didn't make me.
As I was saying, there is going to be an academic armageddon, with the forces of giving-a-shit, and the forces of not-caring-anymore pitted against each other in a battle royale that probably won't amount to much, since most of us are too damn lazy to do anything about it. In the mean time though, someone is going to throw one hell of a party.
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