In case you were wondering, and I know that some of you downs syndrome patients were, yesterday's post was not real. It was fake. A gag. A lark. A fleebowitz. The date was unapologetically april first, which you obviously didn't realize was April Fools day. You also failed to notice the change of the site's design to one stating that it was now, "CollegeRules.com: Lover of Libraries."

Come on now people. What the hell could make me, the laziest motherfucker on the face of the earth, start valuing hard work overnight? A mystical experience of some sort? Please, if God, or Allah, or whoever tried to present me with some mystical experience, I would probably change the channel. I never liked those damned angel shows, besides, they never picked hot angels. I mean, who wants to go to heaven if they know that they've got Della Reese waiting for them, I'd rather go to hell, I mean, thats where all of the hot people are going. Better to be sexually gratified in hell, than boning Della Reese in heaven.

Thus, the failing point of religion, it fails to account for potential party going on in hell. I mean, modern economics shows that in order for Satan to effectively compete with the Heaven monopoly, he would have to change with the times, and turn hell into a more welcoming environment. He's already got the coolest people: half of hollywood, every playboy playmate, rock stars, Chris Farley, and anyone who ever went to Studio 54. Why not toss a party. It would be the greatest rave of all time. So, why go to heaven where all they have is a lot of old fat people, mostly ugly ones who lead boring lives, when you could go down south where every day is Mardi Gras.

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Please go ahead and click on my "Extra-Good" Links. Ummm-kay.

Dorm Linebacker

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