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Posted at 1:45 AM
By: Brian [link]
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As of right now, there is no email for the monday feature. I'll check again later, and then sometime around noon-ish. Start assuming that you aren't getting one.

Just so as to not completely screw you out of an update, here is the contents of a word file that I found on the computer at work:

"Everyone add a line:

Once upon a time, my balls dropped off and I could not find where they
went to. Then the next day the Red Sox won the world Series and the
Yankees got raped by big burly men with beards, but what is more
fascinating is the fact that the DiamondBacks couldn’t make it to the
playoffs this year because they had conflicting schedule with their
annual circle-jerk. Then all of a sudden part of California fell into
the ocean after an earth quake and all the stupid hippies died and my
life became a whole lot better. What was even better is Arnold’s death
scream, he sounds like a retarded goat on speed. After Arnold groped
another stunt double from his Terminator movies, a female Terminator
came back from the future and stopped Schwarzenaegger from becoming
governor of California.

After the demise of California, the earthquake’s aftershocks were felt
all the way on the other side of the country, where it demolished that
overrated city commonly referred to as Boston. This was much to the
pleasure of our protagonist, a young, handsome college student from New
Jersey, who happened to be named Brian.

Brian was shot by a howitzer at point-blank range and was unable to make his wednesday shift, so the wise and beloved Frank was required to fill in for him.

All were puzzled by the inexplicable existence of Johnny Damon, Boston’s
favorite Neanderthal and the Red Sox’s centerfielder. “Aren’t cave men
extinct?” they pondered.

Then the President, being a wise man, dropped a nuclear bomb on Boston,
which was fucking awesome."

It doesn't have to make sense.

---
Emails go to Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com...

Brian's advice for the day: Don't take anything too seriously, especially yourself.

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