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Wednesday, October 29, 2003  

Caution, the Beverage You Are About to Enjoy is HOT!


Posted at 1:19 AM
By: Brian [link]
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Remember when you fell asleep in Ancient Post-Prehistorical History 101 (subtitle: "A Critical Analysis of the role of Gender in the the Viking Shipbuilding trade")? Sure, you were caught up on your sleep, it was at 3pm, but still you slept like an infant after taking an adult dose of Nyquil...

Why were you even in that class? Chances are that they made you. Thats right, the evil empire of academics, who think that an English major really ought to take advanced calculus. These are the same people who invented the insidious research paper and the cumulative exam. They are the ones that decided that participation counts in an 8:30am class -- when even the most ingenious of students is still unable to speak, either from lack of sleep or excess of alcohol. They are out to get you.

Pre-Med students don't need to know how Chuck Palahniuk used "existential metaphors" in his latest work, they need to know where a Kidney is, and what it does. To be honest, I'd even be happy if someone just told me what the hell an existential metaphor is -- not that my lack of knowledge is going to stop me from using the term in a paper... its like an academic "buzz word," just like your dad's boss gets all fuzzy inside when he talks about "synergy," so will your professor when you mention the epistemology of grey squirrel droppings.

We all have something that we are good at or interested in, regardless. Thats why we tend to "major" in a particular subject. In fact, my friend may have found a solution to my Ancient Post-Prehistorical History problem... in his chem lab... he made pure caffeine...

Can't wait to dump some in my Mountain Dew...

---
Thats all for the day. Thanks for reading, and don't forget, if you email Brian[at]Collegeblows.com you can have YOUR email on this awesomeness on Monday!



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Previously
Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
When You've Got Something Better to Do...
Going to College Without Leaving Bed...
Getting Baked!
What? Huh? Damn Snooze Button...
Dear Brian...
This One Goes Out to a Very Special Car
Running Like Forrest Gump from a Smart Convention
For the High School Seniors
Columbus Day



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