CollegeBlows.com:Enemy of the Academic: I Answer Your Emails.

Enemy of the Academic

[Make a New Post]

Monday, September 29, 2003

I Answer Your Emails.

Posted at 2:48 AM
By: Brian [link]
Email This Post

Maybe you all thought it was a joke? I really am going to answer your emails every monday. Seriously, so send them. In the meantime, here is this week's selection:

To: Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com
Subject: announcer

Dear Brian,
have you ever considered becoming an announcer or commentator for football, baseball, and/or soccer or something? I think that would be a good job for you.

well, g2g
Dego

Dego is the coolest pseudonym ever. Here is the reply:

Dear Dego,

You know, I have always wanted to be a sports announcer. I would love to be seen me on ESPN chatting with Madden, but then again, can you really "chat" with Madden? I mean, it would go something like this:

"Hey John, isn't it a beautiful day?"
"The Denver Broncos need to score more touchdowns than the Dallas Cowboys or they might not win"
"John, we're not at a football game -- we're in Central Park -- you're feeding ducks for christsakes"
"Come-on Al, don't you know what sport you're calling, the Ducks are a Hockey team! This is FOOTBALL!"
"I am not Al Michaels."
"Sure you aren't, just like Ditka isn't coaching the Bears..."
"Ditka isn't coaching the Bears..." dials 9-1-1

Anyway, as for your question, If I could announce a sport, it would probably be the Afghan national sport of Buzkashi -- where the country's finest gentlemen fight over the headless carcass of a baby goat from horseback. Of course, few people know that before becoming the President of Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai was actually a professional Buzkashist, he played for the Kabul Kings until they traded him to the Herat Hoodlems, where he retired early when a career ending allergy to goat blood finally boiled over during a match against the Kazakhstan national team, causing him to fall off his horse and break 12 ribs.

Sincerely,
Brian

An American Soldier enjoys a game of Buzkashi

---
If you want your email to be answered next monday, then send it to Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com and I will answer it. Make a statement, ask a question, request advice, whatever you type in, its better than nothing.

Also, I updated the CollegeBlows.com online store with some new stuff, including t-shirts bearing the greek letters of my satirical fraternity, Chi Gamma Lambda. Awesome, huh?