Have you ever felt like your brain was about to pop out of your skull, do a little jig, and then run off into the sunset? If you haven't then you really haven't ever encountered a person who is 2 IQ points away from brain-death.

It happened to me today. In order to escape the academic prison cell known as my desk, I took a trip down to the 2nd floor lounge, which is superior to my own floor's lounge because it has working lights, as well as occasionally being home to another human being.

I was reading Graham Swift's Waterland, a solid 100 pages worth for the night (I honestly can't believe that I gave in and actually read a book), an academic endeavor to say the least. Regardless, just as my brain was beginning to accept the new input, THEY came.

At first they just popped their heads in, at semi-random intervals, and said "hi" to all those occupying the lounge. Then they decided to "study" themselves. Thats when the random questions began.

"Are you Adam? Is he Adam? He's John? Then who's Adam? So he is Adam? Wait, I thought there was an Adam...."

Nobody was Adam you dumb whore.

Then they started passing notes. What is this? The 6th grade? Teacher isn't in the room, hun, just say it. I had a mind to just grab one of them and yell "intercepted!"

Then the fire alarm went off down the hall... "maybe they'll evacuate," I thought. They didn't. Kevin left, then the conversation turned to this:

"Does Kevin hate us?"
"Yeah, probably"
"Is it because we are annoying?"
"Wow, so you are aware of the problem, and yet you let it continue?"
The dominant one makes a remark about her "medication"
"Do you think we should take our medication?"
"Yes, immediately."
"So, where did Kevin go?"
"To get some food"
"I like food. Do you like to eat?"
"No, not at all. In fact, I don't eat at all. Haven't in years."
"I think we should switch dorms. Hey Brian, do you think we should switch dorms?"
"Yes"

That ended it for a while. Later the dominant one asked me if I was in Sigma Nu (a Frat, obviously), and then asked if I was in any frat. I told her no on both counts. The non-dominant one then proceeded to list every frat on campus, asking if I was a member of each one. This was only stopped when I yelled, "I AM NOT IN A FRAT!!! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU GODFORSAKEN WENCH!"

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