College students are known for excessive drinking and often drug use. What isn't known is how ridiculous that drug use can become. Most college students wouldn't dare experiment further than a little of the wacky tobacky, but for those few adventurous souls who dare to dream, there is an amazing amount of insane concoctions to try out.

You see, college students, being stereotypically broke, sometimes need to improvise. Today I saw some guy shooting up, so I asked, "hey man, what've you got in that syringe?"

"A little cocaine, a smidge of heroin, some listerine (for the minty-freshness) and a few CCs of Nyquil..."

Nyquil is a crazy drug because unlike tylenol, and your other over-the-counter drugs, it doesn't even try to cure you. No, Nyquil has a very simple purpose; it drops you into a coma so that you sleep through all of the symptoms. Its really quite genius.

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You know, my dad was quoted in the March, 1982 issue of Forbes magazine. He managed to give the most retarded quote ever published in a major magazine. It was an article about electronic stock trading, he said it was "the best thing since sliced bread..." When I asked about it, he told me it was "the style of the times" and assured me that it was cool back then. No it wasn't dad. And take off that damned Members Only jacket while your at it.

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We ordered chinese food the other night, and as always you get those cookies with it. You know, the "fortune" cookies. Of course, you never really get a fortune in there. I mean, I want something like "you will fuck a supermodel this week," or "Your legs will be broken by an angry Yakuza." Instead you get some stupid statement about yourself that isn't even true. Mine said, "people find your insights to be refreshing," or something like that. My insights are never refreshing. But seriously though, thank you for the statement-cookie, Ho Choi Chinese Restaurant, how about some truth in advertising.

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I may be opening the floodgates, but from now on, I would appreciate some comments from the peanut gallery on whether my posts are funny, or if part of it is, or none of it. Also, if you could gauge the funniness level for me (scale of 1-10 or something?), that would be great. It will help me to make the site better.

And I am still waiting some emails. Questions, comments, requests for advice, or anything else I can reply to would be appreciated. If you are selected, (there is a solid 100% chance of that) then I will post your email on Monday and link to your website, if you have one.

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