Once upon a time, college students had no easy way to stalk one another. If you wanted to know who the hot chick from Philosophy was, you'd actually have to go to class. This was a dark and sad age, and so college invented the face book to help assist students in their endeavors. Now the horny young students could spend time staring at their classmates in an unholy fashion without leaving the dorms.

College students existed in this fashion for years. Then technology finally caught up with them.

Enter theFacebook.com, the technologically savvy, über-facebook that is sweeping the english-speaking world. Now students can not only stalk each other, but they can stalk everyone at their school, regardless of year, and even stalk a select group of people at other schools. Desperation has never been so easy.

It gets better though, because you can list your "friends" online! For most people, this gives us a chance to prove our coolness by listing as many people as possible. Every time you say "hello" to a person, they are instantly a facebook-friend. No need to actually like someone or even really know them, as long as nobody calls your bluff, you're home-free and super-cool.

I feel so cool I might go right out and wear my collar "up."

Or not.


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