Since the recent CourtTV extravaganza known as the Michael Jackson trial has brought the pure weirdness of the formerly-popular singer to the public's attention, I thought I'd do a short rundown of what normal people do, compared to how Michael Jackson acts. So here we go:

Normal People: Minor cosmetic surgery to enhance breasts, flatten wrinkles or de-fat asses.
Michael Jackson: Starts out black, complete with an Afro, and grows up to be a freakishly disfigured white dude who may or may not have a nose. We only believe that its the same person as the old Michael Jackson because the only other person who would dress like that is Prince, and he's still black.

Normal People: Owning a dog for companionship and/or to use as cheap slipper-retrieving slave labor.
Michael Jackson: Owning a zoo, including two monkeys that he allows to "beat it" and throw feces in his house. Good thing he can afford a maid.

Normal People: Wear a Suit and Tie to court.
Michael Jackson: Tuxedo Jacket and Pajama Pants, an ensemble I hadn't seen since the morning after prom.

Normal Child Stars: Massive crack habit.
Michael Jackson: Massive cock habit.

Normal People: Common Sense
Michael Jackson: Two trials, and still sleeping with little boys.

Now, I officially declare this dead horse beaten.

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