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What is your time worth?

Posted at 12:04 AM
By: Brian [link]
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So your summer job probably pays you an hourly rate. For most of us, that rate is somewhere between zero and $8.50 per hour. So is an hour of your time worth eight bucks? Lets consider this more closely...

What else would you be doing with that hour? Here are a few activities that I foresee the readers of this site doing during an hour of time:

1) Masturbating Furiously - 120 times (or so, you've got to leave some time for recovery)
2) Playing Video Games - 6 games of Madden 2005
3) Watching re-runs of Happy Days - aaaaayyyyeeee 2 times
4) Watching online Video of others Masturbating Furiously - 60 times
5) Drinking Beer - BAC between .8 and 12, depending on skill level.

Now, you have to consider how much you value those activities. So, lets make some quick mental estimates, shall we?

1) Masturbation - $10 (Supply and demand, folks, and the supply is HUGE)
2) Madden '05 - $150 (gotta recoup the cost of the system).
3) The Fonz - $50 (when was the last time they showed the episode where the Fonz demonstrates exactly what we were supposed to sit on?)
4) Internet Porn - $1 (Supply and demand again)
5) Beer - $10-20 (depending on your tastes and cheapness)

So we do a quick average of those and we come out to $45.20. There you go, the value of one hour of your precious time right there. So, no matter what you're getting paid this summer, unless you're working as a stripper, you're probably getting ripped off. Don't worry though, just show your boss the logical argument presented above, and he (or she) will be sure to give you a raise, or at least kick your ass.

That's the best you can hope for too, because then you can sue his ass for assault.

...God Bless America('s legal system). Happy Memorial Day.

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