Mothers day is the day when guilt and Hallmark combine to force society to purchase flowers, gifts and cards for pretty much any woman who has shoved about eight pounds of baby out of her uterus. Albeit a daunting task, and one certainly worthy of a high-five or two, its still a holiday that serves little purpose other than to create an annoyance in the lives of men everywhere.

Yes, as men, we love our mothers, grandmothers, and "baby-mommas," but the existence of a day to glorify them goes against everything men stand for. Its just one more date for us to remember, and we already have so many; birthdays, christmas, anniversaries (all of them), the Super Bowl, the first barbecue-able day of the year, etc. So, we're already under pressure, and now, we face the possibility of being the "bad son" for a whole year if we manage to forget the simple day.

Even worse though, is having to remember Mother's Day while you're at school though. Its hard enough for most of us to remember last weekend, major holidays are pretty rough too, and this one falls during finals. This is a deadly mixture.

Nonetheless, your infinitely greedy mothers, spoiled by the greeting card and flower industries demand a show of affection on this randomly selected day. Unlike secretaries whom can be easily be dicked over on the "secretary day," mothers seem to have a little more pull, so you're really locked into the system of rewarding them for something they did 20 years ago. Do I still get lollipops for learning to use the potty? NO. By those standards, you'd think I would though. I mean, I COULD still be walking around in a giant diaper, couldn't I?

I think that's really the unjust thing about this, every day I go out of my way not to piss in my pants, but I get absolutely nothing for it. A woman on the other hand gets knocked up once in her life, and she gets flowers and gifts for it pretty much until she dies. Damn this cruel world we live in.

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