Ahh... good old PimpJuice: Squeezed from Real New York Pimps.

How could I not purchase this fine liquid heaven from the local Indian-run convenience store. I'm buying pimp juice from a guy named Raj, thats fuckin' hot, intercontinental pimpin' if you ask me. It comes in a can that just reeks of bling with its silver and gold exterior.

Talking about gold, you may even gain a few teeth coated in the stuff from consuming this, as the nutritional information label makes it clear that this beverage is about 97% sugar. It weighs in at a whopping 140 calories for the Red Bull-sized 8 fluid ounce can. The only entry with a nutritional value to speak of was the 35 grams of carbohydrates (this shit would make Dr. Atkins have a heart attack if years of eating a high-bacon diet didn't already do him in), 34 of which are listed to be "sugar."

Alright, well, now that we have that out of the way, we can move along to the more important stuff, the tasting. As you might anticipate, upon first sip, I experienced a taste I hadn't experienced since I ran around stealing candy from children on Haloween -- thats right, Pixy Stix! This beverage with its obvious sugary source tastes pretty much like Pixy Stix on first review. Later sips of this glorious creation revealed other surprises, for example, the last couple sips had an apple-juice flavoring to them -- that is, apple juice with half a pound of sugar in it.

Overall, I would have to say that if what you are looking for is a liquid-Peeps, then PimpJuice is the beverage for you. Its purported "energy boosting" effects didn't seem to ever show up, but after waiting overnight, I can tell you that it does boost cavity production (and you're dentist's bank account). Anyway, it wasn't bad at all, in fact, it was pretty good. Its such a classy beverage, that I have no trouble believing that is what real pimps drink from their golden jewel-encrusted goblets.

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