Collegiate Reminders for the Collegiately Challenged:

You're in college now. Nobody reminds you that you have to read two 500 page books by next wednesday, you're just supposed to know. Apparently, "its on the syllabus, numbnuts."

No, you cannot have an extension on that paper. I've been told that the due date was carefully set to coincide with the full moon, and vernal equinox, to allow a paper to be handed in on a gibbous moon would be near-sacrilege.

Are you retarded? Well, then, no, you can't park there. Nope, not even if you are just moving a 200-pound box of your grandmother's hummel figurines out of your dorm room. YOU have to park "over there" in the main lot and carry that box 300 yards to your building. "Sorry about the inconvenience, but rules are rules, and if you don't move your ass now, I'm gonna slap a ticket on it."

Just because you are fluent in Pig Latin, doesn't mean that you can get out of the foreign language requirement.

The guy in the popped collar? Yeah, he's gay.

You are not smooth. Going to a party does not necessarily equate to getting ass. There is always some slick motherfucker, who'll make sure you have to choose between a fat chick and your hand.

---
More to come? Click my links. Also, if you go to Villanova, then click this.

#|