...And don't come to my apartment, unless you are prepared to eat a month's worth of food. Why? Its all based on the old adage, "when in Rome, do as those greasy Wops tend to do..." So, when you are in my apartment, you better do as I do, and I eat like a starving Rosie O'Donnell at an eating contest.

Of course, if Rosie O'Donnell were in an eating contest, she couldn't be allowed to take on any mere human. I mean, its like letting a featherweight take on Mike Tyson, it just wouldn't be a challenge for him. So, Rosie would be in an eating contest against a herd of elephants or something. Regardless, that was just a side-point.

Moving right along... This guy, is my newest personal hero. He created the world's greatest sandwich. I mean, where else can you eat a (based on FDA recommendations) sandwich that contains enough calories to power and average human being for about a week. What else could a man in his twenties possibly want? Sex?

Well... the sandwich is big enough... but I guess that would make it a little less edible, wouldn't it?

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