As a college student, there comes a time when one must put away his Cheetos and his six-dollar case of beer and wonder, “What am I going to do this summer?” Most of us go ahead and get ourselves a job frenching fries, or perhaps tending to the children of people with real jobs at a summer camp, but then there is the select few that go on to apply for an “internship.” A college tradition where the student operates essentially as a human Kinkos, for little or no money, while hoping that perhaps he will be allowed to, “do something cool.”

Its about that time, chaps, and we all need to figure out what we are doing this summer, whether that may be summer classes, working a shitty ass job, or being the Xerox bitch for the grand salary of zero dollars. I'm sure a lot of you, instead of getting a "job" in the traditional sense, will spend the summer "working" on your tan. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I have been lazy for far too many summers, however, so this year, I am going to have to do something good -- an internship. Why work so hard for no money? It puts a very important thing on my resume, work experience, something that I am sorely needing, because while being able to drink Wild Turkey without cringing, coughing or booting is an awesome skill, it doesn't seem to work too well when it comes to getting a job.

And of course, if I don't get a job, I may be forced to attend Grad school, in other words, I'll never get out of this place. Besides, I plan on applying for "cool" internships, such as one with David Letterman (whose production company can be reached at 212-975-5300, in case you wanted to tell them to hire me), so at least I'll be photocopying inter-office memos for the best.

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Go ahead and email me, I dare you. I post practically every email that people send, and its as anonymous as you want it to be.

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