Last night, my dorm caught on fire. Around 8:00, smoke began billowing out of the room across the hall, I was having dinner on the other end of campus. During the meal, I recieved a phone call from my friend, "dude, your hall is on fire!" To which I replied, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" followed by, "run in there and grab my shit." His reply was, "No." My reply to that was, "you pussy, come on, what kind of a lame excuse for a friend are you?"

My guitar was in there, and so were both of my computers... and I can't have that. I mean, I would let my dog burn before I let my guitar go down in flames, its simple math, the guitar costs more. Besides there aren't nearly as many Fender Stratocasters out there as there are cute dogs. I mean, Puppies are plentiful, those things can't help but do the "Jungle Boogie."

Regardless, we were told that we couldn't go back into our building last night, something about too much smoke, I could have dealt with it though, perhaps I could have gotten high off the smoke. Now of course, since we couldn't get back into the dorm we had to find somewhere to sleep last night. The University's solution was as follows: "Find somewhere to stay tonight guys." People were shackin' up all over the place. A few of the guys started knocking on doors in the girls wing, hoping for some "sympathy," if you know what I mean. I crashed on the floor in a friend's room.

I don't know when I'll be allowed back in the dorm, but when I am, everything is going to smell like charred wood. Which isn't that bad, seeing as how it will give me a really cool outdoorsy smell. I've always wanted to smell like a lumberjack and now my dream has come true. If only I had more flannel shirts, so that I could achieve the full effect.

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If you feel bad for me, then please go ahead and click on my "Extra-Good" links, that will definitely make me feel better. Also, you can send the emails to Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com, I reserve the right to post anything (with an assumed name) that you send.

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