Dear College,

Its me again. I'm just writing to make sure that you know; I hate you. Sure, over the past few semesters you haven't truly felt my wrath, but I have felt yours, and it hurt.

What's the deal college? I mean, I know you are into prison-style ass-rape, and hell, (for some reason) I'm still paying $18,000 per semester to let you ravish me. All I'm asking is for the common courtesy of a reach-around, and maybe a little vaseline. Or KY. Whichever.

What with your research papers that won't die, and all of your stupid assignment, your quizzes, your exams, the unrelentlessness it all. I think you may have caused some tearing the last time - I might need to see a doctor about it. You just couldn't resist it when I dropped the soap.

By the way, recently you've been especially eager, and I was helpless and at your mercy. Have you been taking some form of academic Viagra?

So, College, all I have to say is, I hate you.

Love,
Brian

P.S. You Suck.

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I'd like to offer a special thanks to CollegeBoredom.com for linking me, the boost in traffic was greatly appreciated. Don't forget - its still "Drunken December," so don't forget to send in your favorite college drinking stories. If you don't have one to send in, then grab a bottle of Jack and make one. Stories go to Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com

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