Today was one of those days. The kind where everything pisses you off. Where you have too much work to do and too little time to do it. Its the kind of day, where you will fuck up repeatedly, and then learn that some television hero of your childhood died in his bathroom while snorting cocaine.

Its the kind of day when you realize, "oh fuck, I have that class TODAY?!" Then, realize that you have 15 minutes to read about 100 pages of Theology before class, not because you care, but because you were given an assignment based on those 100 pages that is also due in 15 minutes.

It was a day that allowed you to miraculously cut corners and accomplish both the reading and the assignment without being ridiculously late for class, but although you accomplished this feat, you know that your bullshit will soon become horribly apparent to your professor.

In other words, it was not a good day. The only mail in your mailbox is a flyer for a blood drive... They didn't even bother to stuff your mailbox full of Dominoes Pizza coupons... I'd rather clog my arteries at a discount that allow them to be raped of their precious blood. I've got one of those good blood types, its like liquid gold running through my veins. No way I am giving that up so the Red Cross can give it to some dumbass in an emergency room. If you stick your hand under a lawnmower, you don't deserve my blood... get someone else's.

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A month or two ago, we spotted this girl in the dining hall who was wearing, not only extraordinarily tight shorts, but also, they were extraordinarily short shorts. I was the last person at my table to be nudged... quickly I turned my head, and uttered the immortal words, the first that came to mind, "Sweet Jesus." Suddenly I was getting dirty looks from every girl in a 10-15 yard radius.

Since that day, the "Sweet Jesus" girl has been spotted a few times. Never since wearing those same shorts. Nonetheless, I will never forget that ass.

Some of "the guys" weren't able to identify her in subsequent viewings, obviously their capacity for ass-memory is far inferior to my own. Their capacity for staring at breasts for three hours while drooling, however seems to make up for it sufficiently.

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Thats all for now. Remember, there's still plenty of time to email Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com with some witty remark, question, request, or criticism. These emails will be used on Monday's in my "patented" (read "stolen") email-response feature.

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