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Enemy of the Academic

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Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Caffeine and the Collegian

Posted at 1:33 AM
By: Brian [link]
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I was horribly tired today. I couldn't even stay awake long enough to inappropriately stare at the breasts of the girls in my classes. If I don't have that, then why am I even at class in the first place?

What kept me up? A one page outline of a paper that is due next week.

Procrastination.

In order to ease my tiredness long enough to get me through two classes, work, and a meeting with my advisor (which, in any other circumstance, I would skip), I turned to the old standby -- coffee.

There were a few problems with that. One is that it was particularly warm out today. The other problem is that coffee doesn't really work that well, unless you drink ALOT of it.

I also don't entirely trust coffee. I mean, what is it anyway? Its badly filtered water. You put clear water in, it filters through the grinds, and it comes out brown and funny-smelling. If the water came out of the tap brown and funny smelling, you probably wouldn't drink it, but call it coffee, add some "chai" to it, and all of a sudden its "gourmet."