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Wednesday, October 08, 2003  

Lousy Exchange Students


Posted at 1:57 AM
By: Brian [link]
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I wrote a paper last night, my roommate skeeved the shit out of me while I was working on it. More on that later... It was a "first draft" for my English class, so that I could spend an hour "work-shopping" -- which, incase you've never done it, means that you read someone else's horrible piece of crap, and they read yours, afterwards you both either talk about that amazing 4th quarter recovery in the previous night's football game or otherwise stare at the wall for 45 minutes.

The guy who I ended up exchanging papers with was from South America, and he is quite possibly the most retarded human being ever. After reading the "corrections" he made on my paper, I had to burn the sheets so as to never see it again, lest I lose another 20 IQ points from trying to make any sense whatsoever out of it.

It got worse when I read his paper. I mean, come on... I know you aren't a native English speaker, you can't hide that fact by using the MS Word thesaurus on EVERY GODDAMNED WORD... You are from Equador, you don't know what plebiscite means, fuck, I don't even know what it means, lets not pretend. I mean, come on... "When he reinstated clothes with Mary, Johnny discovered he liked wearing a bra..." Who do you think you are fooling? You should've just stuck with "swapped."

Then I had to go to work. Work sucks, because I have to answer telephones, and that seriously gets in the way of playing video games and looking up porn. Thats especially fun when your boss sits right behind you with a clear view of your screen, by the way.

Last week we made one girl cry. She called us five times in a span of 20 minutes, assuming an average length of five minutes per call, she definitely managed to break the laws that govern the space-time continuum. She was in tears by call #5, why? because she couldn't burn her Backstreet Boys MP3s, or some similarly abhorrent music. I officially hate her. At least she was less annoying than the English chick who took a half-hour to find the menu bar in Netscape -- apparently, "its at the top of the screen, the words. file. edit. you know, that thing... you click it all the time" wasn't good enough.

Now that I'm angry, I'm going to get some studying done, I have my last Mid-Term before fall break tomorrow.

---
Send an email to brian[at]collegeblows.com to be featured on this site on monday morning.



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