VILLANOVA, PA -There was rioting in the dorms today as the Red Sox narrowly defeated the Oakland A’s. In addition to the one or two die-hard Boston fans, there was also involved a veritable cadre of people who hate the Yankees, and guys who just stopped by for a beer.

The pandemonium was loud and obnoxious, a characteristic that Boston fans are known for. They are also famous for their ability to get their hopes up just in time to be dramatically crushed, like Damon’s skull when he tragically collided with his teammate in the outfield. Luckily his neanderthal bone structure will allow him to recover.

In addition, fans in Boston were reported to be having a “wicked good time,” which will be followed by tomorrow’s “wicked-bahd hahngovah.” The bars in Boston were filled to the brim with celebrating New-English fans, and the Sam Adams brewing company reported record sales. All of which promises that this historic win will not be remembered by 98% of the fans, who were passed out at the bar in the bleu cheese dressing that came with their wings.

Oakland fans, on the other hand are reportedly heading to the beach to smoke their medically prescribed marijuana. As one fan put it, “whoah! I’m like totally at a baseball game.” Most of whom were also at the tragic loss of the San Francisco Giants to the Florida Marlins. None of them were entirely sure what baseball was, or how it related to the Raiders.

Boston has not won a World Series victory since 1918, a stroke of bad luck that was often regarded as the direct result of the sale of star pitcher Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees, a trade that incited the rivalry that allowed Yankees fans to actually root for the A’s, an act normally considered a sin to a New Yorker.

Cubs fans are delighted that their team no longer officially sucks. It must feel good to finally be better than the Montreal Expos, and that little league team from Osaka Japan. While not truly a major-league team, nor even a real one, most baseball fans admit that in previous years, the Bad News Bears could have easily crushed the Cubs – that is, if Sammy Sosa doesn’t use his “practice bat.”

With an exciting ALCS coming up, it will be difficult to determine which American League team will advance to the World Series (cough*Yankees*cough). However, a National League pennant is surely in the future for the Cubs as they rally to play the Florida Marlins in the NLCS because nobody likes the Marlins.

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OK, well, its midterm time for most of us, so I understand the slight hit-dip, but I would appreciate some comments, and/or an email for Monday's feature, sent to Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com.

The Curse

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