So I finish pulling the basis of my latest academic shitpile out of my ass and finally settle in for the glorious one hour of sleep that I have granted myself before having to drag my lazy ass over to the computer lab to print this thing out.

With my usual luck, I got about, lets say, 30 minutes into my nap when all of a sudden a Scottish woman is knocking loudly on my door. At this point I assume its the cleaning lady (yeah, this place has a cleaning lady - sweet as hell), so I ignore it as I usually do -- she'll either go away, or use her key to come in and do whatever she does.

The knocking continues, I'm tired as fuck and I was just woken up from a deep sleep -- I have no idea what the fuck is going on, but as far as I can tell, the cleaning lady is pissed at me. She must've figured out that I was the one who covered the bathroom in wadded up and wetted toilet paper balls. Fuck. I respond:

"Yeah?"

So far so good, I think words came out of my mouth. As I said though, my brain is still 8 hours away from full functionality at this point. There is a response from outside the door, but its in a Scottish accent and my brain is still taking a pass on such processing. I reply again:

"What?!"

This time the response is loud and clear: "Would you please just open the door?" Now I'm wondering what the fuck is wrong with the cleaning lady, she has a damned key... Then again, that is the very reason why I don't fuck with her. So I yell back:

"Sure, Just a sec"

My brain is starting to work a little more now, and I realize that I am pissed that I was not only woken up, but that I am out of bed to boot. Also, I'm not wearing pants -- I ponder this for a second, and decide that I don't care.

I open the door... Standing outside is a mysterious woman holding a telephone. Not a mobile phone, mind you, this is the kind you plug into the wall, and she's carrying it around with her for some reason. She has a paper in her hand.

She looks at me... I know what she's thinking: "Why isn't he wearing pants?" Then she looks at the paper, she looks up and tells me, "oh, I think I have the wrong room." No sorry for waking you up and dragging your pantsless self over to the door to stare at my ugly mug as well as the inexplicable telephone that I am carrying. Nothing.

I slam the door, mumble "what a bitch," then crawl back into bed continuing to mumble a constant stream of obscenities as I try (and fail) to salvage what was left of my nap. I am still pretty tired, but I'll tell you this, I'm glad I didn't bother to put pants on for her. She definitely would have been a waste of pants.

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Ok, this is everyone's last change to save "Brian Answers All" as well as my dignity, by emailing a question of any sort to Brian[at]Collegeblows.com. I'll answer it and post it up on here. If I don't get any this week then we'll NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! Understood? Alright then. Click some links and/or tell a friend.

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