Ok, so Christmas is over. What happened? You got drunk to escape the evils of family. You probably watched a crappy Jimmy Stewart movie, but after about a pint and a half of Vladimir brand vodka, you couldn't really tell the difference between Its a Wonderful Life and MTV's Pimp My Ride, so I guess we're par for the course.

We've rounded second and we're on our way to third, this time, instead of drinking to escape, or to make Hillary Duff seem just a little further from jailbait (for at least a fleeting moment), now we prepare ourselves to imbibe for the purposes of merriment. YES! Soon it will be the New Year, and what better way to celebrate the astronomical estimation of the Earth completing a rotation around the Sun, than to drink until your brain is no longer in command of your body. Rock and Roll people... thats the sort of shit that bands like Def Leppard were built on.

We don't hold back on the New Year, you don't wonder, "gee, am I going to puke?" You don't need to, you know you're going to. You've been drinking whatever is thrown at you all night, and you're going to top it off with about a half-bottle of Champagne. And you can't skip the champagne, for the love of god, if you skip the champagne, then you must've done New Years wrong. That means you're fucked.

This student will not be fucked.

---
As I sit here preparing to fly off to the far away and chilly land of Scotland in about a week-ish, I'm offering one last chance to join the team for next semester. I'm looking for funny college students who want to post here a couple times during the next semester. Not a big commitment, but it will help afford me more time to chug Guinness and McEwan's Scotch Ale. So, email me at Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com.

#|