They tell you not to drink and drive, but for a lot of us, it just happens to be about as dangerous to walk under the influence, as it is to get behind the wheel. However, after watching the perennial christmas favorite movie, Hook, I've gotta admit, that the whole flying thing would come in handy.

Lets think about it. You're drinking a lot, add some other substances, and the next thing you know, you'll be hallucinating too, then you'll see a fairy -- call her tink, slap her on the ass, and get yourself some fairy dust (and I only mean that literally if you are in Harlem or West Philly).

Furthermore, YOU'RE DRUNK! Unless you're one of those angry/depressed drunks (in which case you deserve to walk into an intersection and die), you'll be chock full of those happy thoughts. On the average weekend, most college students would have enough "happy thoughts" to fly transcontinental. That'll save you a ton the next time you want to fly from NY to LA, and I hear that if you fly without a plane the TSA may even let you skip the pre-flight body cavity search.

Flying is cool, and nine out of ten pilots do it drunk anyway (and its STILL the safest way to travel -- unless some guy named Abu Abdel sits down next to you, then you're fucked). So why shouldn't I be able to fly home after drinking?

The world just isn't fair.

#|