No, my wallet isn't Oprah's ass, who would want to keep their money in there? Besides, it would probably get lost, I don't really feel like going spelunking every time I need to buy a handle of Southern Comfort. I'm not really sure what my point here is, except to say that money seems to disappear quite swiftly after being placed in my wallet. That's for sure.

Now, when I am at school, I can call dinner at the good 'ole dining hall and some old-fashioned lovin' a date and be over with it. Total cost of cheap-ass cafeteria date: $0. During the summer, there are no meal-plans (which is a sad thing, although I treat the refrigerator at home like an unlimited plan anyway -- all it's missing is the sneeze-guard and less edible food...), and therefore a date usually must consist of me taking the lady out somewhere, cracking open my wallet, shooing away the moths, and paying for food, drink, or god-knows-what else.

I am a simple man, you see. It doesn't take much to keep me entertained, ladies. Don't swat my hand away from your ass, and I'm a happy camper. I don't need to go interesting places or do interesting things to have a good time, and especially not when they cost me money. Women, however, have a problem in that they are far more complex creatures.

The complexity of women causes a number of problems (don't get me started...), one of which is that they are incapable of being entertained by me grabbing their ass, or tit, or whichever grope-able I should feel like (in fact, the ladies are welcome to join in the groping, I am, of course an enlightened male...). Instead, most women, will get an itch, and every so often will get an itch, and insist on leaving the house to do something. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but remember, things that occur outside of the house, always cost money, additional to that which provides facilities for use within the house.

I guess what I am saying is... I'm cheap, and women aren't.

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My girlfriend is on vacation this week, so hopefully, I can update enough before she gets back, reads this and asks me why I am calling her expensive on the internet...

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