Fall begins now. For everyone, even those one-time Tulane students. Everyone is back in school at this point. Freshmen are going to classes, and kickstarting the long process that will eventually lead to complete liver shutdown. Seniors are busy wishing they were freshmen, and settling for trolling their elective classes for hot freshmen.

So here it is, the three-pronged advice for College Seniors who wish they were freshmen:

1) Bars are open every night, not just the weekend. You won't be able to do this once you're working 9-5, so get fucked up as often as possible.

2) Freshmen chicks might be young, but they're almost always 18 -- and that can't get you arrested. Anything that can't get you arrested isn't optional, its a necessity.

3) Change your major. Who cares that you're three courses away from getting your degree in East Asian Hip Hop Sociology. If you become an Engineer, you get three or four more glorious years of waking up and not being quite sure where you are, or what her name was.

That's pretty much it. Enjoy Folks.

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As always, please click on some of my links before you get out of here.

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