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Wednesday, June 16, 2004  

I'm broke


Posted at 2:51 AM
By: Brian [link]
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Its the summer, and while some students are gainfully employed, I am not. Employed, perhaps, but in an internship that pays nothing and provides me with a lot of time sitting on my ass. My income is lower than that of the guy sitting in Times Square, holding a tin mug and a sign, you know the one, he smells remarkably like that tuna sandwich you left sitting in the sun for a week.

Its simple really, the smelly hobo has a better business model than me. Whereas I give away my services for free, he receives payment for smelling really bad. While my expenses include many gallons of gasoline, meals at restaurants, and rock concerts. My homeless counterpart's expenses include, alcohol, and possibly the occasional hit of heroin, or as he likes to call it, "crazy juice."

You see the plight of the suburban college student is far worse than that of the metropolitan hobo. You see, while neither will be commonly found with large quantities of cash, but the suburban student (me) has the disadvantage of a negative cash flow, leading to a slow brokening, without the benefits of hoboism, which include being able to drink gin for a living, and never having to shower, shave, or change clothes.

I wish...



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