Why bother? I mean, when televison provides us with entertainment the likes of Monster Garage and Straight Plan for the Gay Man, how can we continue to cower behind our books? Why should we put ourselves into their academic mindset? Its all a ploy anyway... they want us to conform our brainwaves, so that they can hone in on us with their special space-lasers, and then suck our souls out with their "tractor beams," which they obviously buy from the insidious John Deere... damn that traitorous swine!

So, what I am getting at, is that I hate doing work for classes, so I have a pretty solid system going, where I don't do any of it. It works well... let me explain, the steps are as such:

1) Professor hands out a syllabus
2) You say... 20 page paper, what the fuck?
3) Take advantage of add/drop grace period
4) End up in a class with a 3 page paper... seems better
5) Wait until the night before the paper is due
6) Eat some Doritos
7) Drink beer (Labatt Blue, anyone?)
8) Scratch your nuts, and or ass, whichever is handy
9) Go to bed
10) Wake up, hit the snooze button and forget about class

It really just works all too well. I think you should give it a try sometime, its never too late to be lazy. In fact, when you are lazy, lateness isn't a problem, unless it involves your girlfriend... then you are fucked. Kids are far too expensive to support with your current sperm-donor gig.

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