- My sister left an empty bottle of Arbor Mist in our basement. This bothered me because I usually try to hide my empty alcohol bottles by throwing them down onto the abandoned train tracks, or something of that sort, not because that is the only or even the best place to put them, but rather, because those tracks belong to the Parks Department, and I enjoy pissing them off -- I call it my "Yogi Bear" complex.

- In addition to the bottle, she also left a half-eaten bag of Cheese Doodles, which I found myself casually munching on. Eating the Doodles makes you feel like OJ Simpson though, as much as you want to pretend you didn't just do it, the evidence is quite the contrary. Thats right, just as OJ had to contend with blood splatters, the Doodle-fiend has to deal with the unavoidable presence of Doodle-dust, that cheesey-orange residue that stains your fingertips and lips, announcing to the world that you just consumed a Jumbo-sized bag of pure, unadulterated crap.

- I love how Cable TV stations only sensor themselves when they feel like it now. Comedy Central, for example has shown breasts, and featured all of those words that real TV stations get fined for using. Of couse, Cable TV was never governed by the FCC's rules, and finally, it seems they are realizing that. Soon, all non-broadcast television will freely broadcast graphic hardcore porn. Think of how great the world will be when 12 year old boys don't have to try and make out the shape of scrambled boobies on the Pay-per-view channels when their parent's aren't looking.

- While looking at the Comedy Central web page I saw a promo for a documentary called "Heroes of Jewish Comedy" -- it features, among others, Joan Rivers. This amazed me, before today, I had no idea that Joan Rivers was supposed to be funny.

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More to Come this Weekend

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