Giving Up

-I tried "hitting the gym," a lot of guys in my age group do. The idea is to get "buff," so that we can flex our muscles and appease our pop-culture-induced Adonis complexes. We are lead to believe that a sculpted muscular physique is the most important prerequisite to boning hot chicks. After seeing one-too-many fat dudes with hot girlfriends though, I gave up on exercise. That's right, if some random fat dude can get a greater quality of ass than I can, then he's got to be doing something right. I say "screw you" to all of the guys lifting weights in the gym and obsessing over their abs, the only six pack I plan on getting costs about 10 bucks down at the liquor store.

-I've also given up on ever deciphering what women want. I don't even care anymore; they will take what they get. No more of this, "oh you are so nice you do X that my boyfriend doesn't, but I never, ever want to have anything to do with you in a sexual way," crap.

-I'm giving up on ever seeing world peace. Actually, I gave up on that when I was five years old, but the sentiment is still right. Fighting is too much damn fun to give up anyway, and with all of the technological advancements of recent days, war is quickly transforming into a life-sized game of "Rock-em Sock-em Robots."

-I am giving up on looking for a job. I realize now that I am just too damned lazy to get off my ass and look for a job. Hell, I can't even wake up before 4pm anymore.

-Which reminds me; I am also giving up on waking up to my alarm clock. I have set that damn thing every night for the last three weeks, and succeeded in sleeping straight through it every day during that period. An alarm that was once loud enough to wake myself, my roommate and most of our hall at school, is no longer able to overpower the might that is my summer hibernation.

-I have given up on remembering important dates. I almost forgot Father's day -- even after being reminded by everyone in my family, and twice by Hallmark. Maybe I'm just not sleeping enough.

-I've given up on ever seeing the end of reality TV. Much like the hole in the ozone layer, this problem will not be solved during my lifetime. I still can't comprehend the draw of shows based around wannabe actors starving to death, whores fighting over a rich dude, and retards that can't sing.

-Perhaps it's a tad cynical, but I no longer expect a movie to be good when I go to the theatre. With two movies starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez coming out in the near future, I have finally given up on the movie industry ever producing a decent film.

In other news:

-My sister is turning 21 soon, the age where a young woman is required to drink herself stupid. She is trying to plan her birthday celebration right now. People put so much emphasis on the 21st birthday because of its "milestone" status; when I hit the big 2-1, I am going to treat it like any other day -- that's right, I'll be drunk off my ass.

-I know that the economy is bad right now, but I'll toss this idea out there anyway: If anyone is looking to hire a young college student to sit around and do nothing all day, then I am available. I promise to sleep on the job, be belligerent when called upon, and to take off early on Fridays to cash my check.

-I am in the process of realizing that I am in the midst of one of the most boring summers of my entire life. I have done a grand total of nothing so far. Its definitely getting to be time for some "wacky adventures." The kind of adventures that end up with someone being jailed in a Mexican prison. The important thing to remember about Mexican prisons is that if they offer you some tequila; never tell them that you like to "eat the worm."

#|