I Love Naptime

The fire alarm went off today – yet another of the joys of college living. Someone in a non-smoking room obviously decided to celebrate hump day by lighting up their bong. Normally this sort of thing wouldn’t piss me off, but today – today it interrupted my naptime, and therefore the perpetrator must die.

Naptime is possibly my favorite college tradition. Due to the earliness of classes (they start before noon?!), a faithful college student cannot possibly get their required 12 hours of sleep in between 2am and whenever they have to wake up; hence the need for the nap. Napping hadn’t really been such a massive part of my lifestyle since I was in pre-school.

When you have a major paper to do, 5 or more pages, do you get started on it right away, or leave it until the night before it’s due? Obviously you go for the latter of those two options, as any good student would do. Just as we abuse our bodies with the ravages of alcohol, so must we abuse our minds with the ravages of the all-nighter. Why though? To make more time for abusing our bodies with the ravages of alcohol, of course.

When I walk through a predominantly black neighborhood in the city (any city) I always seem to consciously keep track of my wallet and other possessions. Its not that I think Ill of Blacks or their culture, in fact the opposite is true – I love black culture, the style, the music, the bling-bling, etc.; but I know that they fucking hate my white ass – so I keep an eye on my wallet. Not that there is anything to steal in there, perhaps the mugger would like my crusty Trojan?

Since Miller is a fucking retard that is so desperate to see his name in lights, here you go fucker – Bryan Miller whose hometown is Jamesburg, NJ (just so as not to confuse him), is a flaming homosexual. In a very Road Trip-esque moment the other day miller exclaimed to me on AOL Instant Messenger, “I had sex last night/With a girl!” no other information was given. I believe we can safely make one of the following assumptions:

1) She was either fat or ugly

2) She was related to him

3) HOOKER!!!!

4) “She” was a man in drag

5) She was old and decrepit or dead

or finally

6) She doesn’t even exist

Don't forget to download the latest edition of The Villanova Times...

That is all.

#|