CollegeBlows.com:Enemy of the Academic: Old People and Short Shorts

Enemy of the Academic

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Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Old People and Short Shorts

Posted at 11:58 PM
By: Brian [link]
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I have old people in my class, and I don't mean people in their late 20s or 30s, I mean 65 and over. Two of my classes have been invaded, actually. Old men taking up spots that could be filled by hot young college girls, all so that they can relive some lame nostalgic fantasy about years gone by.

No sir, college isn't how you remember it.

What is the point of taking classes when you are over retirement age anyway? Your career is either over, or ending, so its not like you are giving yourself a boost in that area. You sure as hell aren't going to be reliving your frat days. And I doubt you are going to hook up with any freshmen girls with that beer gut and those liver-spots. The few fun parts of college are pretty much out of your reach, so what do you think you are going to accomplish? Expand your mind? That hasn't happened in a school since Plato's Academy closed its doors. Besides, why would you want to do that anyway? You're old, just give in and take up golf or some other old-man hobby, sure its boring, but so are old men.

Anyway...

I know your game old man, you are doing exactly what I am doing... ignoring the professor and staring at the collective cleavage of the room's female population. Except when I do it, it is expected of me, when you do it, it skeeves the fuck out of everyone, you dirty old man, your daughter is older than her...

Of course, I'm not really too worried about it.

Anyway, the point is... well, there isn't a point, other than, all guys like to check out college-aged women.

For example, there was this girl in the cafeteria today, she was wearing tight short shorts. In fact, it looked like she had simply painted her ass cheeks blue. I heard someone say "whoa, look at that," so I did. Blatantly turning my head to look, I believe everyone at my table was staring at her. Then I blurt out, "sweet Jesus! look at those shorts!" At which point a random blonde one table over obliged and looked, then gave me a look, or perhaps it was more of a glare.

So ends another day. Tomorrow is "St. Thomas of Villanova Day" which means that everyone else's classes are cancelled, not mine. Oh and they are having some special "mass" that I can't possibly imagine myself going to.