tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50648352011-04-21T15:25:39.869-04:00I Hate College. College blows, and this blog serves the people of this great nation by making fun of everything that happens within these "vaunted" halls.Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comBlogger4391100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1131958394004266372005-11-14T03:51:00.000-05:002005-11-14T03:53:21.626-05:00

I'm still deciding if CollegeBlows is dead or alive. If posts magically start appearing in a few weeks, then its not dead. Otherwise, read the archives, because that's all you'll get.Comment on whether you want more or not.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1127889875110846222005-09-28T02:43:00.000-04:002005-09-30T01:55:47.176-04:00

It's been a while, you want an update and I haven't been providing them. I've been busy, and midterms are upon us over here. So I'll make you a deal, EMAIL ME your bright ideas, thoughts, whatever, and I will make an update out of it. I PROMISE.Send it to me at Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com, and the next thing you know, WHAM! Update.---One per customer is guaranteed, more if I REALLY like your emails

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1126681027027844162005-09-14T01:02:00.000-04:002005-09-14T03:17:59.810-04:00

I've gotten to the point where I should probably be thinking about what I'm going to do after I graduate. The problem is, I don't think I can really stand to contemplate my future any further than the age-old question, "should I start with beer or liquor tonight?" An important question for sure, it might not be life changing, but a mis-execution could ruin an entire weekend and result in numerous

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1125986883905135522005-09-06T01:04:00.000-04:002005-09-08T02:37:34.393-04:00

Fall begins now. For everyone, even those one-time Tulane students. Everyone is back in school at this point. Freshmen are going to classes, and kickstarting the long process that will eventually lead to complete liver shutdown. Seniors are busy wishing they were freshmen, and settling for trolling their elective classes for hot freshmen.So here it is, the three-pronged advice for College Seniors

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1125467424323460432005-08-31T01:49:00.000-04:002005-08-31T01:53:17.646-04:00

After three years of doing this blog, maybe its time to quit. Leave me a comment: Why should I keep going? If I stop, what should become of CollegeBlows.com (should I sell it to a porn site)?If you all clap hard enough, maybe I'll be back after Labor Day.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1124694191897972232005-08-22T02:26:00.000-04:002005-08-22T03:03:11.906-04:00

It's pronounced G-Lee, but spelled like jiggly, and its not as good as either of them. A couple years ago, Gigli was the big joke, the horrible horrible bomb that thankfully put an end to Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez's acting career. Lets be honest, music video is probably a much better format for her. Its three-minutes or less -- just enough time to beat it -- and she can shake her ass for no apparent

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1124084933087801952005-08-15T01:30:00.000-04:002005-08-15T01:48:53.093-04:00

The other day my building in the city was hosting a children's chess tournament to encourage school kids to play chess. Somehow I think having the rook shoved up you ass in the locker room and not a lack of "awareness" is the culprit for the lack of young chess players these days, but who am I to ponder that, I guess.Anyway, so for most of the day these kids who seemed to range from 6th grade to

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1123533649842918542005-08-08T16:40:00.000-04:002005-08-09T02:51:55.903-04:00

Lately I've found myself in quite a few elevators and I've noticed that there seem to be a couple of unspoken rules. As with all unspoken rules, one idiot always talks about them -- or even writes them down. Today, that idiot is me.The rules:1) When waiting for an elevator, it is common courtesy to spread out as far as possible within the "elevator lobby" area. This prevents the uncomfortable

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1123132999647278502005-08-04T01:22:00.000-04:002005-08-04T02:27:13.776-04:00

I'm sure I've done this before in some form, but whatever, call it an update, ok?No matter what time of year it is, there is always a strong possibility that someone out there is busy doing something that pisses me off. I don't know what it is, maybe they put something in the water, like crack. I don't drink water, ever, so I'll probably never find out. Nonetheless, here's a short list of people

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1122923877310618642005-08-01T15:14:00.000-04:002005-08-01T15:17:57.316-04:00

Like many men, I'm a sports fan. In today's society, sports are acceptable viewing for males while "So You Think You Can Dance?" is definitely not. The problem is, I don't really know why I like to watch sports.So, I'll explore the issue further.Nowadays sports are ingrained in our culture, we watch sports because our fathers watched sports, and their fathers before them and so on. Our motivation

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1122264713726616702005-07-25T00:09:00.000-04:002005-07-25T00:11:53.730-04:00

Posting is going to be really sparse or nonexistant for the next week or two. I'm pretty busy. I'm not disappearing, I'm on hiatus. School isn't even in session, there's only so much I can say about commuting.Thanks.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1121830591245808622005-07-19T23:34:00.000-04:002005-07-20T11:29:27.516-04:00

Trains are a great way to travel. They make lots of fun noises that you can listen to, and at rush hour, you can always get up-close and personal with a new friend (who happens to smell worse than a homeless man who sleeps in the dumpster of a fish restaurant in August). Basically, train-time is the best time of your life.The only thing better is the train station itself. Built in 1960, it looks

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1121661961888073762005-07-18T00:45:00.000-04:002005-07-18T02:20:42.696-04:00

I spent the weekend in bed.Sadly though, there wasn't anyone else in my bed to keep me from sleeping the whole time. I probably needed it, alcohol poisoning and long work hours can take a lot out of you. So I've been told. Then again, Mickey Mantle had pretty good hustle for a man with the same amount of functioning liver cells as Terri Schiavo's brain cells.So anyway, tomorrow I get up early yet

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1121137135491570222005-07-15T00:09:00.000-04:002005-07-14T23:23:28.750-04:00

There will definitely be an update on monday.Got Busy... back in a couple days. Entertain yourselves by spamming the comments while I'm gone.---As always, please click on some of my links before you get out of here.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1120797197264396992005-07-08T00:07:00.000-04:002005-07-08T00:33:17.270-04:00

A number of things usually result from working during the summer months. Inevitably, the whole thing will eventually wear you down -- changing your sleep patterns from the college setting, straight over to Real World is a rough transition. Gone are the wednesdays where you have the luxury of sleeping till 3pm to avoid dealing with the hangover. No longer does the week consist of 15 hours of

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1120579874295371472005-07-06T00:10:00.000-04:002005-07-06T00:54:37.326-04:00

Once upon a time, college students had no easy way to stalk one another. If you wanted to know who the hot chick from Philosophy was, you'd actually have to go to class. This was a dark and sad age, and so college invented the face book to help assist students in their endeavors. Now the horny young students could spend time staring at their classmates in an unholy fashion without leaving the

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1120104599579446832005-06-30T00:08:00.000-04:002005-06-30T01:33:47.126-04:00

Hey, if you're name is Tom Cruise, its time that somebody filled you in: "we want you to shut up." As someone from the English speaking world, I can honestly speak for the rest of us when I say, that I wish you would stop speaking english. In fact, as a member of the global community that is forced to listen to your bullcrap, I have a few demands from all of us.1) You do not know it all. Please

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1119937640821256982005-06-28T01:45:00.000-04:002005-06-28T02:21:24.860-04:00

Summer employment is the worst sort of employment. For those of you in my situation please feel free to agree with me.Companies worry about employee morale. They can't abuse their full-time workers, if they do, they get a high turn-over rate, and then everyone thinks they're pricks. Well, they probably are anyway. Even year-round part-timers are of concern to most corporations, as far as

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1119588432950729652005-06-24T00:46:00.000-04:002005-06-24T01:19:15.950-04:00

I remember when TRL was the hip show to watch on MTV. Then Carson Daly went to NBC and then disappeared, I assumed that nobody watched that heaving pile of crap.At this point, I should inform the audience that I am currently interning for MTV Networks. I'm with the Comedy Central Division thoughSo, yeah, until this summer started, I was sure that TRL couldn't possibly exist anymore. Then I

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1119414880839429272005-06-22T00:03:00.000-04:002005-06-22T00:34:40.846-04:00

The greatest indignity of working is that after waking up hours before what your brain says is healthy, you need to do something that we all endearingly refer to as commuting. Its a nice way of referring to the ant-march of death that we all have to take part in to get to our respective places of business, or at least slacking-off for the next eight hours or so.There are a ton of ways to travel

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118377988458871612005-06-19T23:31:00.000-04:002005-06-20T01:04:53.386-04:00

Outside of Christmas and the various alcohol-related holidays, I'm not really a fan of the holiday concept. I mean, I appreciate the days-off afforded by such things as "President's Day," and the chance to blow shit up afforded by the Fourth of July, but for Father's Day, and other people's birthdays, I don't see the value.For a day like Father's day, I am required to purchase gifts and cards

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118978906931341572005-06-16T23:18:00.000-04:002005-06-17T00:36:12.023-04:00

What the fuck? I had a whole fucking thing written up, then blogger asked me to log in again, and now the whole post is deleted. Great.Fuck everyone. If you want to know why there's nothing new to read here, go to Blogger.com and ask those turdburglars why their site blows.---As always, please click on some of my links before you get out of here.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118808450519553892005-06-15T00:07:00.000-04:002005-06-15T00:07:30.550-04:00

Since the recent CourtTV extravaganza known as the Michael Jackson trial has brought the pure weirdness of the formerly-popular singer to the public's attention, I thought I'd do a short rundown of what normal people do, compared to how Michael Jackson acts. So here we go:Normal People: Minor cosmetic surgery to enhance breasts, flatten wrinkles or de-fat asses.Michael Jackson: Starts out black,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118637189126983152005-06-13T00:21:00.000-04:002005-06-13T01:55:40.516-04:00

I work in a bank. That's right, in addition to spending two days a week slaving as an intern, I am spending the rest of my week slaving as a bank teller. It pays better than McDonalds, but it still manages to suck the life out of me like one of those super-vampires from the Blade movies (which kicked ass in that cheesy sort of way). I'm learning all of the tricks of the trade, counting money

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118205299724574422005-06-08T00:34:00.000-04:002005-06-08T00:34:59.766-04:00

This summer I am working in a bank. Bank tellers, I learned are largely female. This makes for an interesting work environment. I was forced to listen to a whole bunch of female whining about how awful men are today.Apparently we're pretty bad. I have to admit though, the woman whose husband told her she "doesn't take care of herself the way she used to," was just asking for it. He was right, but

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1118032263427966512005-06-06T00:10:00.000-04:002005-06-06T00:31:03.446-04:00

Today it was hot, and since it intends to stay pretty damned hot through the end of the summer, the Air Conditioning was set to summer "make it cold" mode. My house has two floors and separate controls for each. The ground floor works great, but upstairs... I think it actually got hotter upstairs.Now, this wouldn't be a problem if everyone didn't sleep upstairs.So, now it is 80 degrees up here,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1117768560416536412005-06-02T23:13:00.000-04:002005-06-04T10:51:10.656-04:00

Gripe of the Day: A Taco Bell employee (the lowest rung on the fast-food ladder -- I mean, they work for Mexicans, how low can you go?) failed to provide me with the correct drink. Its not a hard job, they type a number into the computer, it tells them what to give someone and what it costs. The most difficult part of the job is to dispense the drink from the fountain...Here is my question though

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1117691874212256292005-06-02T01:56:00.000-04:002005-06-02T02:39:16.620-04:00

I am just a simple jackass from New Jersey. Yet, wherever I go, I seem to get picked out by strangers as the perfect person to ask for directions. It doesn't matter how American I might be while walking in London, or how "Bridge and Tunnel" I might be in New York. It doesn't matter how large the crowd I am in, people always pick me out to ask where 7th avenue is.Do I really look that universally

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1117512354390677412005-05-31T00:04:00.000-04:002005-05-31T01:28:17.213-04:00

So your summer job probably pays you an hourly rate. For most of us, that rate is somewhere between zero and $8.50 per hour. So is an hour of your time worth eight bucks? Lets consider this more closely...What else would you be doing with that hour? Here are a few activities that I foresee the readers of this site doing during an hour of time:1) Masturbating Furiously - 120 times (or so, you've

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1117084605021110022005-05-26T01:15:00.000-04:002005-05-26T01:16:45.026-04:00

No update! Instead you get wasted space. Tell your friends to visit and I'll be encouraged to update more often.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1116997324617521782005-05-24T22:13:00.000-04:002005-05-25T01:20:28.160-04:00

In the last couple weeks you've all either a) Graduated, b) began summer "vacation," or c) continued to relive your youth vicariously through this site. No matter which of these you've picked there is a certain reality that you have to face: WORK.Work is another way to say "responsibility," it's also a way to say "tired," and in swahili it translates to "place of the burning fire and urine." None

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1116575333347942712005-05-23T03:48:00.000-04:002005-05-22T23:59:27.890-04:00

Maybe I'm descended from one of those freakishly-disfigured "mole-people" from one of the god-awful Planet of the Apes sequels, but I just don't get the whole "morning" thing. What possesses people to wake up at when the sun is rising? Why must they insist on doing anything, or going anywhere upon doing so? Its harsh, its cruel, its a waste of excellent sleep time.I blame it all on old people.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1116478381073973892005-05-19T00:39:00.000-04:002005-05-19T01:27:47.800-04:00

I finally got around to going to the DMV. My license was set to expire right after I got to Scotland, so, not wanting to deal with the bullshit, I went down and waited all 12 hours to renew my license before I left. This costs i dunno, 25 bucks or something, whatever though.Prior to this, I had one of the old-school laminated paper licenses, the kind that everyone has, because they are the

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1116228155012038332005-05-16T03:02:00.000-04:002005-05-16T03:22:35.030-04:00

It took 12 hours and ten degrees on the Fahrenheit scale, but I'm back in the USA. Exams are over or almost over for pretty much everyone. The comforts of campus are gone for 3 months or so, and you probably have to get a job. Now you have to deal with summer, yet another sampling of that "real world" everyone insists is awaiting you when you get done with school.Here's what is going to happen to

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1115777282163246852005-05-10T22:06:00.000-04:002005-05-10T22:08:02.170-04:00

Ok, I've got some travelling and shit to do, so the site will be out of commission until either later in the week, or maybe even next week.Don't fear though, starting next week, fresh new summer material is on its way.---As always, please click on some of my links before you get out of here.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1115604339923574222005-05-08T18:31:00.000-04:002005-05-09T00:55:46.566-04:00

Mothers day is the day when guilt and Hallmark combine to force society to purchase flowers, gifts and cards for pretty much any woman who has shoved about eight pounds of baby out of her uterus. Albeit a daunting task, and one certainly worthy of a high-five or two, its still a holiday that serves little purpose other than to create an annoyance in the lives of men everywhere.Yes, as men, we

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1115344770385655982005-05-05T21:47:00.000-04:002005-05-06T14:41:44.040-04:00

Summer is fast approaching. You look out your window and you can see the signs of it, bunnies humping, girls dressed in something that would barely cover up an infant, and the ancient tradition of applying fire to meat. Late spring on a college campus is a bittersweet time for most, we have the freedom to frolic outdoors, yet soon we all will need to find work.Some of you are graduating. Sorry to

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1115176478467654512005-05-03T23:12:00.000-04:002005-05-04T23:53:00.143-04:00

I'll weave you a quick little tale of an event that happened recently.I was waiting outside the exam hall, bracing myself to consume two cans of Red Bull, purchased five minutes earlier, in a desperate attempt to maintain some form of awakenness during a three hour exam. I see someone I know, so I pocket the can for a minute and we talk about how we both drank too much beer and didn't manage

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1114999001644792502005-05-01T19:49:00.000-04:002005-05-06T20:40:01.806-04:00

Originally uploaded by speedeep. Exam time comes but once (or two to three times) a year, and because of this, many people find it to be one of the more difficult aspects of the university experience to get used to. Every year around December and May, you can walk through any quad and hear the echos of exam season:"Fuck, I didn't even buy the book""So, eh, yeah, what exactly IS organic chemistry

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1114900119811437512005-04-30T18:28:00.000-04:002005-04-30T19:27:32.463-04:00

Do you ever get that feeling during an exam that drawing a picture of the professor naked and humping a donkey would get you a higher grade than the shit you're writing?Sometimes that feeling isn't avoidable. Sometimes you actually do draw a picture of your professor naked.The only thing that can prevent such a fate (in theory) is studying. However, studying itself is about as evil as, I dunno,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1114636307906745902005-04-27T17:09:00.000-04:002005-04-27T18:19:21.933-04:00

Ahh... good old PimpJuice: Squeezed from Real New York Pimps.How could I not purchase this fine liquid heaven from the local Indian-run convenience store. I'm buying pimp juice from a guy named Raj, thats fuckin' hot, intercontinental pimpin' if you ask me. It comes in a can that just reeks of bling with its silver and gold exterior.Talking about gold, you may even gain a few teeth coated in the

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1114439698829825262005-04-25T10:10:00.000-04:002005-04-25T10:34:58.830-04:00

Since I don't think I've reminded the world lately, I've been writing from Sunny Edinburgh, Scotland for the past four months. My time here is almost over, though, something like 17 days left, and then I return to America, to little or no fanfare whatsoever. Although, I have to admit that I do plan on being horribly drunk when I get off the plane. Horribly. Like, to a ridiculous degree and such.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1114050571881321452005-04-20T22:27:00.000-04:002005-04-21T10:36:00.573-04:00

This site seems to think that I am a world-renowned purveyor of funny mexican t-shirts. Well guess what? You're wrong!While I may be a fan of funny mexican shirts, and the mildly amusing Honduran knock-offs, I offer none for sale through this site. There are no "Guapo en Guadalajara" or "Voto para Pedro" shirts sold here. As much as I'd like to sell them, I can't.Don't blame me though. Blame US

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1113962712171832752005-04-19T22:03:00.000-04:002005-04-19T23:02:30.966-04:00

We've all been on a public forum on the internet at some point. Some place where you can see things written by others and reply to them. Most of the time, such replies are done with good intentions, but other times you just feel the need to call the other person a cock-munching turdlicker. This is an acceptable and traditional way to partake in the finer points of the internet, but there are some

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1113925906761786872005-04-19T11:31:00.000-04:002005-04-19T11:51:46.763-04:00

If you're looking for the Papal Shortlist, you can scroll down, or click the link I just gave you.Here are some more pictures from my journeys around here:Figurine from a store in London......and his little buddy.Nut Munch.Is Fruiterer even a word?The Doctor told me to drink 8 glasses of water a day......8 of them... I've never been more excited to be healthy.Freshly Squeezed from REAL New York

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1113536685638019252005-04-14T23:36:00.000-04:002005-04-14T23:44:45.640-04:00

This is one of very few (and maybe even my only) all-picture posts. I've been saving some of these up for you from my various adventures. Blah blah blah, I'm lazy. I know. Shut up.The Phat Phuc Noodle Bar... Its a big sumo hangout? - LondonPeople in London have to mark their houses as "not a brothel" to avoid Drunk and horny Englishmen getting rowdy on their doorsteps.One of the local beers in

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1113315979986183582005-04-13T23:13:00.000-04:002005-04-13T22:47:44.333-04:00

Welcome to my Hawk Hoop Supporting visitors, it was so very nice of you to link to me, even though you chose an update that applied to LAST YEAR, when your St. Joes Hawks were actually succeeding.Moving along though...This month has taught me a number of lessons:1) Firstly, I have learned that no matter what I do, I am going to spend far more money doing it than I would have otherwise hoped. 2)

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112926182152650912005-04-12T03:11:00.000-04:002005-04-12T11:33:54.246-04:00

I love those delicious sandwiches, bread cut open and stuffed with the finest meats and cheeses, often lubricated with various salad-toppings. Deliciousness.Why can't every meal arrive in this fashion? Cereal can be a sandwich... imagine the joy of Fruit Loops™ gingerly stuffed into a baguette and topped with scrambled eggs and milk? I guarantee that I can assemble a group of taste testers who

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112838504125747652005-04-07T10:15:00.000-04:002005-04-19T17:15:16.456-04:00

Recently, a good friend of mine who is studying abroad in Rome was attending the ceremony surrounding the Pope's funeral and she bumped into Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, one of the ex-Pope's right-hand men, and I'm sure he offered his left hand as well every so often. As he was walking away, a paper fell out of his briefcase that appeared to be a shortlist of potential successors to the Papal

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112757038405180832005-04-05T22:45:00.000-04:002005-04-05T23:12:53.323-04:00

I guess if you are still reading this, then you are wondering why you didn't win a free iPod... Well, its because your mom had an affair with a hobo from the Bronx which permanently soiled her cooter, and now God hates you.So, moving on to more important matters, I'll tell you a little bit about Barcelona, and what I discovered. I learned the following:1) Sangria can come in a can but if you're a

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112659165445591282005-04-04T19:57:00.000-04:002005-04-04T19:59:25.446-04:00

Sorry about the extended April Fools joke -- I was away in Barcelona this weekend, at a Queen concert. More on that coming soon.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112233477609908212005-04-01T12:01:00.000-05:002005-03-31T22:12:42.466-05:00

If you got here by typing (or clicking a link to) CollegeBlows.com, then you just got April Fooled! Ha! Sucks to be you. If you somehow avoided the fooling, and are wondering what this is all about, then click here, and pretend you didn't read any of this yet, ok? Thanks.As I was saying, as the master of April Fool-ness, this is my second annual awesome April Fools day "switcheroo" and if you

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1112040369946306592005-03-27T21:16:00.000-05:002005-03-28T15:06:09.953-05:00

With a break from classes I have found a need to prioritize the various tasks that I am attempting to complete before returning home... Those tasks are as follows:1) Drink Every beer that is offered for sale in Scotland. - I've had quite a few so far, and if you limit the task to beers that are served on tap in Scottish pubs I am real close now to finally kicking this tasks ass. Though, you might

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1111623185982116412005-03-23T19:10:00.000-05:002005-03-23T19:49:21.963-05:00

If anyone reading this is going to be at ANY of the NCAA basketball games coming up, enjoys this site, and has seats within TV camera boundaries, drop me an email.There is the potential of a free t-shirt or something in this.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1111062817379758472005-03-22T07:32:00.000-05:002005-03-22T22:18:48.506-05:00

Hosting by PutFile.comI was out doing my weekly or so shopping, picking up all of the junk food essentials. I had picked up four of the five food groups: Sweet (Cadbury Eggs), Sour (Sour Patch), Salty (Pringles), and Bitter (Beer) and I was just about to pick up the fifth, Soda, when I made a startling discovery...I squatted down to get a closer look... a bottle of generic soda. There was

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1111113071011722902005-03-17T21:20:00.000-05:002005-03-17T21:31:11.016-05:00

Well, I don't know about your schools, but for mine, in order to get an internship approved for credit, there is an "application" that needs to be filled out, including a 2 page essay, "discussing the type of field work activity you aspire to and overall goals, academic and professional as an intern. Commenting on your skills and talents, and areas of expertise that you have and hope to develop."

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1111024654640370012005-03-17T20:55:00.000-05:002005-03-18T11:39:09.863-05:00

CollegeBlows.com may not be available at that address for a time soon, as I am currently in the process of switching to a different registrar, because it saves me a ton of cash. So, I'm sorry for the inconvenience to all three of my fans.Any loss of service on CollegeBlows.com will NOT affect your ability to read this BS at the alternate address of http://CollegeBlows.blogspot.com, where service

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110978747139260022005-03-17T00:01:00.000-05:002005-03-16T19:37:31.496-05:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY,...you Irish bastards...

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110851049160942382005-03-15T20:21:00.000-05:002005-03-15T21:24:52.086-05:00

I'm not in my country -- my country is New Jersey (the state that everyone likes to make unflattering movies about) -- so, I think it is understandable that every couple weeks I put on my finest hawaiian shirt and fanny pack and blantantly go to the most touristed parts of town to act like a complete American prick. It is my right to do so, as I am burning through my (comparatively worthless)

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110504936448582472005-03-10T19:58:00.000-05:002005-03-11T12:35:48.383-05:00

Airlines and the people who sell their tickets for them are the worst things on this planet.Why is it so hard to give them my money?I'll provide some background, some of which you would already know, assuming that you were reading this website for a little while (which means that this story should be new to everyone). ANYWAY, so, I'm over here in Scotland, a part of the United Kingdom of Great

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110322129924852962005-03-08T17:17:00.000-05:002005-03-08T17:49:32.423-05:00

Minnesota Plans to Prevent 21 Year Olds From DrinkingOk, usually I don't do this. In fact, I never do this, ever. Today however, I'm commenting on a news story that has got my (man) titties in a twist.Legislators in Minnesota plan to make it illegal for 21 year olds to drink at midnight on their birthday. You wouldn't be legally 21 in that state until 8am. Which means what, exactly?Supposedly,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110238184481663582005-03-07T18:27:00.000-05:002005-03-07T19:26:36.426-05:00

So I finish pulling the basis of my latest academic shitpile out of my ass and finally settle in for the glorious one hour of sleep that I have granted myself before having to drag my lazy ass over to the computer lab to print this thing out.With my usual luck, I got about, lets say, 30 minutes into my nap when all of a sudden a Scottish woman is knocking loudly on my door. At this point I assume

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1110150581813043522005-03-06T18:07:00.000-05:002005-03-06T20:33:38.593-05:00

This is just a link:Is Dr. Thunder any good? Find out!Jay-Z: That's OUR word, and you have no right to use itPrison Weapons guide

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1109723434872374072005-03-03T21:12:00.000-05:002005-03-02T21:17:04.016-05:00

I really don't even know where to begin this post. Not that that has EVER stopped me from churning out a page-full of beautiful crap (check out the oxymoron) before.In fact, this whole site started out as a crap-pile of my pointless yammering. Well, actually it hasn't really changed very much. Although, I guess the pictures are kind of funny nowadays... good thing I don't steal those from other

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1109640095985501412005-02-28T19:58:00.000-05:002005-03-04T19:11:56.830-05:00

Apparently its snowing back home in the States. Classes were cancelled today for my friends at home, and giant snow-genitals are being erected (note the unintentional pun) all over the northeast United States. Things are as they should be, right? Well, that would be true, except I have to wonder -- why do I have to wake up and drag my ass to class tomorrow?It never snows when my ass is on the

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1109122460717922412005-02-23T02:43:00.000-05:002005-02-24T08:05:22.596-05:00

Or, Why I Rule...This semester I am taking three classes. Each class meets three days a week. For most people, that is a hassle-less semester. For me, its a pain in the ass.Why, I ask, should I have to drag my ass out of bed every morning? I like bed. Beds are possibly the most comfortable things that mankind has ever invented. They've got some give to them, so you aren't lying on something hard

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1109035969547521902005-02-21T20:17:00.000-05:002005-02-21T21:29:16.160-05:00

Edinburgh: "the festival city." What is a festival, anyway? According to a google search it is, "a day or period of time set aside for feasting and celebration."So, we are supposed to believe that Edinburgh is a city of continuous feasting and celebration. Well, I don't know, I mean, celebration is under control here -- the pubs are all open late, so I'll give them a pass. That's only half of it

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1108687513231411982005-02-17T20:37:00.000-05:002005-02-17T20:43:48.113-05:00

By: Bill HotzAlright, so since Brian's busy for the night, I'm making my debut here on CB.Alrighty, so tonight's subject, boys and girls, is a little chat on Greek life. Now, you see, Brian and I go to a private college that doesn't officially support/sanction fraternities or sororities. This, however, does not by any means mean that they aren't there. About a good third of the dipshits on

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1108520312942714202005-02-15T21:16:00.000-05:002005-02-16T10:13:47.326-05:00

This week, we have an AIM-based contributor who asks, "Hey Brian, how can I get girls?" A very good question indeed. And here's my answer:Dude,There are any number of ways to go about gettin' the ladies. It all breaks down to two schools of thought, the subtle approach and the not-so-subtle approach. Once you've gotten the handle of either one of these then we can move on to the five key rules of

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1108430913066438562005-02-14T20:28:00.000-05:002005-02-15T08:22:15.223-05:00

I'm always late for something, and this time it seems to be a major holiday. Oh well. I was sick this weekend, and I slept through my monday classes for good measure, so now, lets talk about every pretty girl's favorite holiday, and every man's reason why he can't buy that sweet new Hemi Charger just yet.Valentines Day is a day "for lovers" or at least for the men in loveless marriages to test

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1107994957137235392005-02-09T19:10:00.000-05:002005-02-09T19:25:55.036-05:00

From: Jon Subject: Advice Date: February 9, 2005 12:40:29 AM To: Brian[at]CollegeBlows.com Yo man, What should Philadelphia fans do now since all our teams are huge letdowns? Well Jon, its good that you asked that... mostly because its the only question anyone has asked so far. There are a number of ways to deal with a lack of winning sports teams. The most successful of which is (

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1107909130942458432005-02-08T19:25:00.000-05:002005-02-08T20:49:21.756-05:00

I know that some of you just got REALLY excited at the prospect of something Pissing me off. As usual, when things really bother me, I like to express them in list form. Similar to the lists that I write weekly of different ways I'd like to hear CNN reporting on the death of Richard Simmons (but thats another post altogether). So, in neat list form, here they are, the top 5 things that most

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1107648042127311842005-02-05T18:31:00.000-05:002005-02-05T19:09:08.026-05:00

Brian Answers All! Ok, I've tried getting all of you worthless bastards to email me with college stories before, and for the most part you ignored me. So this time, I'm going to offer my advice. If you want advice on ANYTHING, I will provide it right here. Being that I am awesome and all, I think I can handle any of your problems and still have time to get drunk and hit on your hot sister.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1107302251124761622005-02-01T18:52:00.000-05:002005-02-02T11:44:41.526-05:00

To go to class or not to go to class, that is the question. As always, the answer is pretty complex. In the states, you have classes where the professor cares if you show up, and others where there are 200 people and they just don't know how to count. In the UK, they have a similar system. Except that the classes you have to go to only meet once per week for an hour, its a small group, and as

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1107134386087709632005-01-30T20:19:00.000-05:002005-01-30T20:21:31.430-05:00

Among other things, I'm going to largely lame out of this Monday's update due to the fact that this weekend I turned 21, and while I did turn 21 in Scotland, where you only need to be 18, I celebrated American style. I rule.I won't leave you out to dry though... Here's a picture of a nutso street performer right out of the movie Eurotrip. He's painted Silver as you can see, but I'll let you

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1106785515315550642005-01-26T23:15:00.000-05:002005-01-27T07:35:33.496-05:00

So, we've talked about the differences between America and Britain, but what are the similarities? Well, I'm so glad you asked. First of all Everyone is a Douche , just like in American, this country has an amazing array of Douche-bags and bastards. Want to cross the road? Can't do it, because that cab sees you and its accelerating. Want pickles on your sandwich? Sorry, thats against company

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1106603693286442072005-01-24T16:53:00.000-05:002005-01-24T18:28:47.170-05:00

Since I've been gone there have been a few major events on the East Coast of the US: 1) The Eagles are going to the Super Bowl, and with a chance to win it and make the entire nation let loose a sigh of relief that New England wouldn't win yet another championship. Not that I'm an Eagles fan (see: yesterday, The Jets), but damned if they aren't not the Patriots, you know what I mean? Normally,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1106526989561827162005-01-23T19:28:00.000-05:002005-01-23T19:36:29.560-05:00

Yeah, I just watched the Eagles (who are NOT the JETS) beat Atlanta for the NFC Championship. I have to say, they are my only hope of a team I don't hate winning the Super Bowl (also, Westbrook went to my college). Since I was watching it on European time, however (and I woke up early, and I have some shit to get in order), I am fucking tired now, and will promise and update tomorrow. In

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1106268696486557852005-01-20T19:36:00.000-05:002005-01-20T19:51:36.486-05:00

There are a lot of movies that I really love. I can even quote some of them, and thats okay, because I am a man, and the testosterone doesn't give me a choice but to memorize movie quotes. Just like it doesn't give me the choice whether or not I want to have facial hair, or whether or not I want murder people when the kicker for my favorite football team misses TWO field goals in a row, either

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1106100235201415022005-01-18T20:51:00.000-05:002005-01-18T21:03:55.200-05:00

I really like beer. Its about 2 am, thats 9pm for your East Coast Americans out there, but to me, its about t-9 hours till class starts. The point of this, is that I stayed up late, so that I could spend way more than I ever dreamed I could on beer. Good beer. Here's a hint: never drink good beer, its a waste of good money. Find the cheap shit, you know, the stuff that even the local alcoholic

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1105918030882067032005-01-16T18:22:00.000-05:002005-01-16T18:51:47.483-05:00

Ok, so you're all tuning in, wondering what insight, if any you might be able to get out of this site on the study-abroad "experience." Well, I guess I'll give you a little taste of it. So far in a week and a bit, I've noticed a few differences between British Universities and what we in America just call College. So starteth the list: Registering for Classes: America: Fifteen minute

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1105659636432392722005-01-13T18:17:00.000-05:002005-01-13T18:40:36.433-05:00

Yeah, I've been here in warm sunny Scotland for about a week now. Let me tell you, we've got the world's best weather right here. You see, it rains... everyday. Even when it doesn't rain, and the sun does come out, somehow, it still manages to be cold. Aw hell though, I go to school in Philly, I'm used to cold! The cold actually, isn't even a problem. Its the gale force winds. Which are

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1104914907387959912005-01-05T03:09:00.000-05:002005-01-05T03:48:27.386-05:00

Since I'll be flying off to Scotland tomorrow, I've decided to list the things about traveling that are most likely going to piss me off tomorrow: 1) The Line at Security: Does anyone else remember the good old days when Pasty-ass white boys like myself could set off a metal detector and still board their plane on time? What happened to racial profiling, huh? You know if we based airport

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1104824002432272832005-01-04T02:23:00.000-05:002005-01-04T02:33:22.433-05:00

Hey, Well, I'm bringing in some help, for at least this semester, maybe longer. So, if you notice a couple posts being written by a dude named Jordan, its not one of my multiple personalities or something, (they don't know the password anyway). If you're looking for some more information on this guy, you can find his site here. Now, obviously, my awesomeness can never be surpassed, however, I

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1104397165340362732004-12-30T03:58:00.000-05:002004-12-30T18:51:06.836-05:00

Ok, once again I'm selling my soul for the sake of an easy update. Christmas is long gone, Jesus wore one of them pointy hats, and we all sang happy birthday, and now its time to forget he ever existed and participate in the old-fashioned pagan fun that is the celebration of New Years (the eve, specifically, as the day is comparatively bland -- I mean, what the fuck is a mummer anyway, and why

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1104221706788845112004-12-28T03:14:00.000-05:002004-12-28T03:58:09.000-05:00

Ok, so Christmas is over. What happened? You got drunk to escape the evils of family. You probably watched a crappy Jimmy Stewart movie, but after about a pint and a half of Vladimir brand vodka, you couldn't really tell the difference between Its a Wonderful Life and MTV's Pimp My Ride, so I guess we're par for the course. We've rounded second and we're on our way to third, this time,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1103876462776373502004-12-24T03:17:00.000-05:002004-12-24T04:15:34.883-05:00

A New Christmas Story from the warped bastard behind CollegeBlows.com: Like most sites this time of year, I'm going to write something about Christmas. Why? Its probably because of my hopes and dreams of one day selling out in favor of the easy life (like Tim Allen -- manly grunts and "ho ho ho" sound similar, right?). Anyway, where this diverges from every other lame-ass Christmas tale is

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1103185425294322262004-12-17T03:04:00.000-05:002004-12-17T03:09:02.873-05:00

In TV and movies, the holiday season is always able to work some crazy-ass miracles, like giving a little girl her dream home, or making Tim Allen a believable actor. It makes us all believe somewhere in our hearts, that we too are able to be the beneficiaries of such miracles. Let me tell you, its not going to happen. Especially not for the College student. Remember all of that "Christmas

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1103005990999306452004-12-14T01:32:00.000-05:002004-12-14T03:26:56.333-05:00

Its about Christmas card time again, and if your dad married into a huge irish-catholic family, like mine did, its also the time of year that we all receive those extra-special christmas newsletters. There are a lot of Holiday annoyances: 1) Putting up decorations 2) Watching said decorations blow away in the wind because you were too lazy to put the spike in the ground. 3) Writing cards 4)

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1102916005652279572004-12-13T01:27:00.000-05:002004-12-13T14:45:41.046-05:00

I'm done. Not exactly, however, I am heading into the last day of classes for the semester. What does that mean? The first and last days are the only two days of class that you can't miss. No matter who you are, no matter what you do. You have to go in with a good impression, and come out with one. If you are there on the last day, looking conscientious, who's to say you weren't there the whole

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1102708606630621162004-12-10T14:23:00.000-05:002004-12-10T14:56:46.630-05:00

In America, we tend to name our bars in a pretty blatant fashion: "O'Rourke's Bar," "Seamus' Drinking Habit," or "The Un-inibitor." In other countries, particularly England, but also commonly in Scotland or Ireland, bars are called "pubs" and pubs are not named so blatantly. "The Whistle and the Feminist," "The Bearded Clam," or "The Pirate's Wooden Leg," are all the sort of names you would

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1102577122064129272004-12-09T02:22:00.000-05:002004-12-09T02:25:22.063-05:00

Ok, well, my brain is busted.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1102320018476984362004-12-06T02:53:00.000-05:002004-12-06T03:00:18.476-05:00

OK, I know I've been pretty flaky on the posting recently, but once this week gets underway, I will have plenty of time to update more regularly, for tonight, however, this status update is about all you are going to get. Not that people have been flocking to my site in droves anyway. Sorry you whiney bastards, I have finals too, ok? While I may not care about getting an A on my final projects

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1101884098643572752004-12-01T01:53:00.000-05:002004-12-01T15:10:34.640-05:00

The Holiday Season is upon us. People are drinking Egg Nog, Cheese Nog, and Guiness-and-Bailey's Nog like its water. You're being forced to listen to the cool stylings of "A Mariah Carey Christmas" for the 37th time today. You're impressed by her vocal range, but you don't quite understand why anyone would want to listen to those high notes. These are the holidays. Whether you're holiday of

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1101799684540957212004-11-30T02:27:00.000-05:002004-11-30T03:30:18.723-05:00

Alright, so at this point in everyone's semester, the freshmen will be JUST about depleted in the massive supply of hygiene products that their parents piled into their U-Haul to ensure that their beloved child would be able to wash themselves enough that they wouldn't smell the alcohol or marijuana on them when they came home. Once this supply is depleted, the frosh has nowhere to turn.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1101194889655894142004-11-24T01:47:00.000-05:002004-11-30T02:29:25.953-05:00

Yeah, I'm wasting an update on links. Whoop-de-doo... at least I posted SOMETHING. How to turn cheap ass Vodka into something consumable Sex at the Speed of Light... Masturbation and Wormholes... wow Need help being vulgar? I don't. Mad Sophist's guide to avoiding people in class Ok, now thats what college is all about.

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1100886694407659632004-11-22T13:49:00.000-05:002004-11-22T02:13:08.176-05:00

I'm actually a little disappointed in myself here, but none-the-less, I feel that it is important to purvey this information. Today's installment of "How to Not Give a Shit," is an important one: it's about quitting your job. So, you have an on-campus job? The only thing worse than paying tuition to a college, is having to work for one. Don't believe me? Ask any of the professors who I've

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1100719675460929552004-11-17T14:10:00.003-05:002004-11-18T03:24:16.090-05:00

Thanksgiving dinner in the dining hall... ah yes, the horribly, and incomprehensibly mistimed celebration of a major national holiday, dining services style! There's something about my meal plan that makes me oh-so-giddy just thinking about the prospects of Dining-hall turkey, "chunky" mashed potatoes (by which they mean unmashed and mixed with white-shit brand potato substitute), and oh god,

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1100501591819613812004-11-16T01:48:00.000-05:002004-11-16T01:49:00.813-05:00

Ok, so I am listening to Rapper's Delight by (possibly the only) Classic Rap cover band, the Old School Players, because the Sugar Hill Gang (original) version wasn't available on iTunes, and I needed some rap music from before the "kill whitey" era. You know, back when rap was cheesy, Will Smith rapped about his parents, and everyone else wore parachute pants and giant wall-clocks around their

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064835.post-1098945428393643132004-11-15T02:00:00.000-05:002004-11-15T02:21:26.290-05:00

Its Sunday Night... or Monday Morning for the exactniks out there, and I can easily declare this to be one of my very special extra-super patented get-nothing-accomplished weekends. I had two things to do this weekend, and I completed exactly none of them. Which brings up a good point, there's always something more interesting than what you "have to" do. Remember that 20 page research paper

Brianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04003424340604059376noreply@blogger.com